I have a mild (actually fairly major but that's neither here nor there) obsession with love, romance, relationships, all that jazz. I think it's fascinating. Now part of my obsession is romantic films, part is real life. The way I think I have a different perspective is that I think that a lot of the time films have it closer to the truth then most people I know.
I'm not sure how or when it happened but lots of people have very low expectations of love. I have met countless people who are willing to settle. Who would rather be with anyone rather then be alone. I think that is very sad. Firstly because what does that fear of being alone tell us about our self esteem or our ability to be independent. Why are people so scared of being 'alone'. I use the commas because we are not really alone, most of us are surrounded by friends and family. We have a network of love and communication that should, in theory, be enough. This need to find someone to marry isn't an actual need. We feel the urge to procreate that's true, we feel the urge to love that's also true, but the two aren't necessarily linked.
I know from myself that people think I'm strange because of my lack of romantic relationships. It was a choice, but not the way most people think. I have always been open to relationships, I have given people a chance and it hasn't worked out. I realised about a two years ago that the reason for this was because my expectations of the relationship were too high for those people to handle. We as a couple didn't come up to scratch. What I'm looking for is simple, I want someone who makes my life better then it is now, who makes me happier then I have ever been. If someone doesn't make my life better, why would I let them in it? If someone doesn't give me butterflies and text me or call me or try to see me everyday then why on earth would I let this person be a potential partner?
This is where I think movies have it right, in most modern romantic movies the main characters are flawed, but it is either despite or because of these flaws that they are loved. Most couples I know spend more time trying to change the other persons 'flaws' then they do enjoying the time they have together. The thing I always say to people is that if you aren't willing to change yourself for them then why should they change for you? That seems to really annoy a lot of people for some reason! The funny thing is that when two people really love each other and don't try to change the other person they end up changing more because of that person then all the nagging and pestering in the world. You are much more likely to stop doing something that annoys someone if it's your own idea and if it's not a big deal.
So regardless of the people who think I'm unrealistic. In spite of all those depressing relationships I see everywhere I believe in true love. I believe in having someone who makes me feel like the best person in the world and who I can make feel the same. I am holding out for my happy ever after and my movie kiss. I am and incurable romantic and I'm holding onto that with both hands.
